If you are feeling a bit "dry”, there is a chance you're taking things in life for granted -- health, friends, family, wealth, or life itself. You're likely focusing on what’s missing.

Focusing on "what ifs," what might happen, and feeling a need to control, are classic symptoms of worry.

Overwhelm is what happens when we have too much input coming in and we get overloaded. It's easy to lump everything together, distorting the significance in the grand scheme of things...

The demise of marriages and relationships in general, is not over money, children, or health but crummy communication styles.

"What will bring me more joy , love , and peace this year?" I pose this question because happiness and personal fulfillment revolve around these three emotions. Joy, love, and peace are also the oppos...

I heard an interesting theory about egoism a while back... "Egoism is the root of all conflict in the world." Intuitively that makes perfect sense.

Are you thrown off by unforeseen complications? Are you frantic to meet deadlines or goals? Do you hate to wait? Are you a slave to the clock?

Life is a series of endless big and small decisions. What to wear, whether to look for another job, what relationship needs to be let go of, or whether to go to a party. And sometimes, the options are...

Relationships wax and wane, stretch and grow, shift and evolve. We are always changing and any relationships we have, are always changing too. Sometimes there are bumps in the road on the journey.

Relationships wax and wane, stretch and grow, shift and evolve. We are always changing and any relationships we have, are always changing too. Sometimes there are bumps in the road on the journey.

Almost everyone procrastinates. We usually do it to avoid a task that's unpleasant or daunting. Some things are broad and require lots of time and effort, and may involve changing long-held behaviors...

Almost everyone procrastinates. We usually do it to avoid a task that's unpleasant or daunting. Some things are broad and require lots of time and effort, and may involve changing long-held behaviors...

Once you truly give up hope, from a state of acceptance -- " People and things are the way are, not the way I think they should be" -- then you are in a position to figure out what you need to do in o...

Once you truly give up hope, from a state of acceptance -- "People and things are the way are, not the way I think they should be" -- then you are in a position to figure out what you need to do in or...

What if I told you a new diet called the "It's Not About the Food" is gaining popularity and causing significant numbers of women to shed pounds along with old habits and excess baggage? I bet you’d a...

What if I told you a new diet called the "It's Not About the Food" is gaining popularity and causing significant numbers of women to shed pounds along with old habits and excess baggage? I bet you’d a...

What goes on in the world, just is the way it is. How we interpret other people, things, and situations is up to us. We can either put a negative or a positive spin on what we experience.

What goes on in the world, just is the way it is. How we interpret other people, things, and situations is up to us. We can either put a negative or a positive spin on what we experience.

We’re a society that likes to worry. Worrying is so prevalent, it almost feels socially acceptable. It's one of the less incapacitating symptoms of fear.

We’re a society that likes to worry. Worrying is so prevalent, it almost feels socially acceptable. It's one of the less incapacitating symptoms of fear.

I've found all good communication boils down to just four simple rules. Whether it's with our spouse, kids, neighbors, or our boss, mastering these concepts will have us communicating with anyone abou...

I've found all good communication boils down to just four simple rules. Whether it's with our spouse, kids, neighbors, or our boss, mastering these concepts will have us communicating with anyone abou...

The Three Ultimate Attitudes are bottom lines of how our minds work. There are three Destructive Ultimate Attitudes associated with sadness, anger, and fear. And there are three opposing Constructive...

The Three Ultimate Attitudes are bottom lines of how our minds work. There are three Destructive Ultimate Attitudes associated with sadness, anger, and fear. And there are three opposing Constructive...

Do you get in a negative mood and have a hard time getting out? Do your lingering feelings seem to descend on you for no particular reason? Do you find yourself often brooding for extended periods of...

Do you get in a negative mood and have a hard time getting out? Do your lingering feelings seem to descend on you for no particular reason? Do you find yourself often brooding for extended periods of...

Regardless of whether we're on our own or partnered up, with or without children, we need to accept our situation and embrace it. Complaining won't change it. Neither will feeling hopeless or helpless...

When we obsessively focus on something that is, or isn't, within our control, it can feel like we're carrying a giant boulder on our backs. Instead, we need to treat that one aspect of our lives as sm...

Kindness shows itself in a lot of ways, such as acts of compassion, helpfulness, empathy, forgiveness, and caring. These gestures ignite feelings of love in both the recipients and ourselves. For maxi...

Whether you describe the way you feel as jubilant, happy, elated, ecstatic, or euphoric, the underlying emotion is JOY. Joy is an emotion. It's so lovely to feel this emotion and to tell the truth, it...

Do you feel like you're never enough? That there's never enough time? Money? Friends? Great opportunities? Recognition? Do you believe if you had or did something else...

These are indeed troubled times. Between covid19, politics, Black Lives Matter, and the upcoming election, there is not a lot of uplifting news to be had. Actually, the opposite is true. It's easy to...

Being too self-critical is rampant in our society. It's almost a national pastime to beat ourselves up over real and imagined imperfections...

This month I'm going to talk about the emotional bridges and what we can do to safely cross the river. I usually discuss the three bridges as they pertain to communication. However, it occurred to me...

It’s not just intimate partnerships that are destroyed by not being able to resolve conflict. Business associates, neighbors, friends, and colleagues are affected as well. In each case we have a choic...

Almost everyone procrastinates. We usually do it to avoid a task that's unpleasant or daunting. When procrastinating starts to interfere with our quality of life by causing us to feel worried, fearful...

Consulting and following our intuition is the easy way to experience joy, love, and peace in our lives. Our intuition, or inner knowing, makes a dynamic duo with our rational mind, our outer knowing o...

The question often is, "How can I call it quits with my partner in a constructive way?" First, end a relationship because you are following your inner knowing, not because you’re in the midst of an ar...

Here are some questions and answers about caretaking and speaking up with those we serve, from a cancer diagnosis to dementia and all stops in-between.

Have you experienced some turbulence in these last months? It seems like these recent times have presented many folks with personal unexpected life-altering struggles. Our own trials and tribulations,...

What transforms an irksome situation or event into frustration? It's our expectations, our "shoulds" that cause aggravation. Your wife should have an awareness about her eating habits. Drivers should...

Intuition is the invisible link between our personal inner world of emotions and thoughts and our outer world connection point through speech and action. Intuition reveals what is really true for us d...

When we stand up and lovingly assert ourselves, we feel joy. We feel virtuous and good because we are following our inner wisdom. However, if we have unexpressed sadness this leads to us feeling small...

When we don't express our anger constructively, we go negative with our judgments and feel mad because the world isn't living up to our expectations. Over the years, this becomes the lens through whic...

The three constructive Ultimate Attitudes are universal concepts that are at the root of every major religion and philosophy. I believe that to be "enlightened" means that we truly and deeply live by...

Funky moods obscure our experience for hours, days, weeks, or even longer. Left unattended, they shape our personalities and determine the quality of our lives. We think that we have no control over o...

Peace is one of human's six emotions. It's the opposite of fear. When we're experiencing peace, our attention is in the present, we're relaxed, content, and our mind is still. Often it's thought that...

It being the holiday season, it seems appropriate to review the emotion of love, since that is what the season is supposed to be about.

Being unappreciative in general and focusing on the half empty is a core attitude that Attitude Reconstruction associates with the emotion of anger. These qualities block our ability to experience the...

Being passive developed as a pattern for a really good reason -- we were avoiding feeling our emotions (especially sadness) and had to find some place to channel the sensations we were experiencing. M...

Both men and women have to learn to speak up in order to take charge of their lives and cultivate meaningful relationships! This applies to school, work, business, family, and social events. As scary...

Picking our fingernails, eating a quart of ice cream at a single sitting, or mandatory daily vigorous exercise. Frequent prescription drug or alcohol use. Addictions are a reliance on any substance or...

Happiness is the current wave. It’s in book names, article titles, Coke ads, McDonald’s Happy Meals, and, you name it. I think happiness is a general word that encompasses the pure physical body sensa...

After thirty-five years in private psychotherapy practice and decades of studying and teaching, I've found all good communication boils down to just four simple rules. Whether it's with our spouse, ou...

Dr Vasant Lad defines depression as a popular diagnosis characterized by "a loss of pleasure and interest in life... accompanied by a sense of pressure, hollowness or emptiness, and low self-esteem."...

Are you thrown off by unforeseen complications? Are you frantic to meet deadlines or goals? Do you hate to wait? Are you a slave to the clock? Well, the price you pay is huge. First and foremost, your...

To create a truly lovely Valentine's month and build more joy, love, and peace in your life, I offer you ten tips for building and sustaining good personal and intimate relationships. This article ful...

It’s not trite to set New Year's intentions, especially if they make your life brighter. Set some intentions and goals for the coming year. The idea is to shift your attention away from your shortcomi...

Sadness is a natural reaction to hurts and losses. When not expressed constructively, it silently eats at your heart until joy has to pack its bags and move out.

Backsliding comes with almost every new habit you're trying to ingrain. I call it the "Dwindle Effect" because the initial impetus to change an old habit can wane.

We all experience everyday annoyances with the people around us. What turns an irksome characteristic, situation, or event into a source of continued frustration? It’s our expectations, our “shoulds”...

Somewhere, we got the idea that losses should be avoided at all costs because they are too painful. The result: no one taught us to effectively mourn when a significant ending occurs. As a result we o...

We have two inner voices. One voice comes from the rational brain - the temptress, the rebel who wants what she wants when she wants it, the voice that is governed by "shoulds." The other voice is tha...

Being too self-critical is rampant in our society. We beat ourselves up over real and imagined imperfections. Whenever we criticize ourselves, we compound the issue. We turn one problem into two -- th...

Sometimes it's obvious what emotion a person is dealing with. Other times it's not. With just a little practice, you'll be able to recognize the emotions underlying other people's demeanor, words, and...

With the avalanche of unkind words and deeds engulfing our lives today, it's time to buck the trend and resist. The goal is to move from judgment and feelings of separation to acceptance and connectio...

Physically wanting to strike out or viewing other people, things, or situations as enemies isn’t going to get you where you want to go. In fact, it could land you up in prison or equally worse, locked...

The most dominant destructive attitude of the twelve possible core attitudes is that our attention is in the past or future. This attitude is related to the emotion of fear.

Around this time of year, we all hear friends and acquaintances voicing dread about their upcoming family visits. From the sister-in-law who can't stop offering advice about how to raise your children...

People tend to throw around a lot of words to describe their emotions and feelings. We're confused or we feel frustrated. We're hurt or we're excited. Whatever the label, deciphering feelings from emo...

Anger fuels our dark side. We give into the impulse to strike out justifying our mean words and destructive actions by unspoken thoughts such "You hurt me and so I'm going to hurt you back." We escala...

Do you feel like you're never enough? That there's never enough time? Money? Friends? Great opportunities? Recognition? Do you believe if you had or did something else -- got married, earned more, loo...

When you feel depressed, you may despair that your life will never get better. Rather than telling yourself how hopeless your situation is, you can restore hope and get rolling. I know this because I'...

If you're waiting for a change and frustrated it's not happening, maybe it would be beneficial to give up all hope! Sounds strange? "Hope" is a double-edged word. Hope in its best sense is something t...

Funky moods obscure our experience for hours, days, weeks, or even longer. Left unattended, they shape our personalities and determine the quality of our lives. We think that we have no control over o...

Have you become a wet blanket, failing to acknowledge what's working or punishing others when they say or do things you don't like? If so you are unknowingly or knowingly creating alienation and insec...

What’s the downside to not apologizing? Little by little, not fixing our wrongs becomes a pattern. In our relationships it destroys trust, openness, and true closeness. We carry this secret burden and...

Just like Colorado aspens or giant California redwoods need each other for support and to survive, so do people. Science now substantiates what we intuitively know: It feels good to be part of a team...

Many times, after hearing a client’s predicament, I ask them, “What’s really true for you about this?” or “What do you know when you’re feeling good?” Most of the time, an answer comes tumbling out of...

Whether you're endlessly agonizing over an issue, it's a tough place to hang out. Maybe this, maybe that. You drive yourself nuts, occupying yourself with your dilemma. You feel incapable of making up...

It's obvious that the holiday season is upon us. The idea is to thrive and enjoy during this time rather than just survive. Give yourself two great gifts for the next weeks - a lack of stress and actu...

Chances are you’ve seen and heard an emotional manipulator at work. Perhaps you even live or work with someone who regularly pulls out their blame gun and sprays accusations on everyone but themselves...

All good communication boils down to following four simple rules. Abiding by them, anyone can communicate about any topic effectively and lovingly. There are also four opposing violations that create...

Anger is in everyone’s emotional constitution to one degree or another. It oozes out in big and little ways, no matter how valiant the attempt to disguise it. It shows up when you act meanspirited, in...

Constructive thoughts help you rewire thinking because they're valid regardless of your current emotional, mental, or physical situation. They are the real deal. For example, "Everything is all right"...

Asserting yourself may not come as naturally to you as it does to others. I know, I know. You're saying it's not that simple to do, especially when emotions are maxed out, the topic is super-sensitive...

Aligning with your gut feeling can cause unexpected emotions to arise. The trick is to handle them constructively so you don't get derailed. That means being ready to experience your sadness, anger, a...

We've become so focused on how we'll maneuver to fit it all in that we no longer stop to smell the roses or breathe in the fresh air. Desperately we strive to gain control over the unknown. And we are...

This month I'm going to discuss three topics that have at their roots our unexpressed fear: stress, taxes, and sleep, or lack thereof!

Whether it's your parent, coworker, child, lover, or friend, we all sometimes say and do things we regret. We fret, get defensive, make excuses, and rationalize that what we did wasn't so bad.

When couples differ, they don't listen, especially when they are experiencing emotions. And when they try to talk it out, they resort to the communication violations -- "you"s (telling the other perso...

Don’t confuse your life purpose with material goals, such as finding a spouse, being a mother, earning a lot of money, or becoming famous. Your purpose is something separate from your goals.

The priority sifter helps you get in touch with what's true for you and what to do about a specific situation. It integrates your heart and head and offers a unique perspective.

Desperately we strive to gain control over the unknown. And as a result, we call ourselves "stressed" out. Does this apply to you or someone you know?

We all sometimes say and do things we regret. What is the upside of a genuine apology? What is the cost of not apologizing?

Do you believe if you had or did something else -- got married, earned more, were thinner, danced better, or had more time -- you'd finally relax and feel okay?

This month I'm going to discuss three topics that have at their roots our unexpressed fear: stress, taxes, and sleep, or lack thereof!