In This Article:
- How societal norms can dull your natural joy and spirit
- The importance of listening to your inner voice and intuition
- What a missed flight taught about unexpected friendships
- Why asking for what you need matters more than you think
- How living authentically empowers others to do the same
The Joy of Being True to Yourself
by Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com
So many of us have been “trained” to behave a certain way, to act according to the norm, to do what’s expected of us. But does that really bring us happiness? Or does it suppress our true feelings, dull our joy, and lead us into quiet depression?
When we walk through life not being true to ourselves—not listening to that inner child who wants to play, laugh, and simply enjoy being alive—we end up in a life that, in my opinion, feels rather pointless. We are each unique, and expressing that uniqueness is our role on this planet. That’s our piece of the great puzzle of Life on Earth.
The Airport Lessons
Recently, while flying across the country, I started noticing the behavior of people around me. It seemed like almost everyone was glued to their phone. Eyes down, earbuds in—cut off from the world around them. But when we take the time to look up and really see the people and experiences around us, we often discover gifts that the Universe has carefully placed in our path.
On one of my flights, I had a tight 41-minute connection. The airline assured me it was enough time to make it. So I trusted them. However, the first flight left late, arrived late, and I had to watch my connecting plane take off without me. Having mastered the art of teleportation would have been handy—but alas, not available.
Turns out, someone else on that flight missed the same connection. With about eight hours to wait, we ended up spending time together in the airport. And now? I have a new friend, along with a few interesting conversations sharing knowledge and experiences that may prove helpful later. If I had stayed buried in my phone or audiobook, I would’ve missed that opportunity entirely.
Ask and You Shall Receive
On the way back, I was initially assigned a middle seat. Not my favorite as I prefer the aisle so I can get up, stretch my legs, and walk a bit. So before boarding, I asked to be moved. They reassigned me to the very last row—not ideal legroom, and the seat didn’t recline—but it was an aisle. And wouldn’t you know, the middle seat was empty. The man in the window seat and I started chatting and ended up having a wonderful conversation about relationships and books. I discovered authors I’d never heard of and heard a male perspective on his relationship experience that, interestingly, or should I say of course, mirrored parts of my own relationship.
Some people might not have asked for another seat assignment. They might’ve accepted the original seat with a quiet sigh of resignation. But I believe in asking. And if you don’t receive? Then maybe the original plan was the better one after all. But I like to use my prerogative of free will—to make choices that suit me—and see what the Universe does in response. In this case, it responded beautifully (of course).
Coloring Outside the Lines
What brings me joy is discovering the gifts in every moment, in every encounter, in every person I meet. And being willing to paint outside the lines when that’s what feels right. That empty seat next to me allowed me to sit cross-legged at times—helping ease back tension during a long five-hour flight. I even stood in the aisle to do some stretching: reaching for the ceiling, twisting my spine, anything to stay limber and comfortable.
Was I the only one doing these things? Absolutely. Everyone else sat quietly, behaving as expected. Sit still. Don't disturb. But I’ve never been good at blindly following rules. I do what feels right—as long as I’m not consciously hurting or inconveniencing anyone else. And yes, we should always respect others, even if we choose to live differently.
Peer Pressure? No Thanks.
For some reason, I seem to have been born immune to peer pressure. As a teenager, my friends would order french fries with ketchup and a Coke at the local café. Me? I’d get fries with gravy and a glass of milk. I wasn’t fond of ketchup, and I didn’t like fizzy drinks. It never occurred to me to change my order just to fit in. I didn’t like what they were having. So I ordered what I liked. Seems rather simple to me.
The same with smoking. I tried cigarettes around age thirteen—for three days. They gave me a headache, made me nauseous, and stank. So I stopped. Never went back.
What surprises me is how many smokers have told me they also didn’t like it at first. It gave them headaches, made them queasy. So I ask, “Then why did you keep smoking?” The usual answer: “Because my friends did.”
Yikes. That breaks my heart a little. Choosing what hurts you just to fit in with others—what kind of life does that lead to?
Living Someone Else’s Life
So many people live according to what others expect, not based on what they love or enjoy. And that’s not really living. That’s performing. It’s a shadow of a life—a mock-up version—when the real life we’re meant to live is waiting just beyond the script.
We’re meant to follow the beat of our own drummer, the calling of our own heart, the voice of our inner joy. When you live based on what others like or want, you’re living their life, not yours.
The Compass Within
If we truly want a life of peace and joy, we must tune in to our heart’s desires—to what makes our inner child light up with joy. I don’t believe we came to this earth to suppress our radiance or to live under someone else’s rulebook.
Each of us has an inner compass. The more we align with it, the more we’ll find a life that feels full, meaningful, and true. Not the kind of joy that comes from watching others on social media, but the deep satisfaction of living from within—of listening to our inner guidance and following it, wherever it may lead.
Shine Your Light
The joy of being comes from being true to your Self—not someone else’s version of you. And sometimes, that means painting outside the lines, living beyond the norms, doing things your way… even if no one else ever has.
If society’s rules don’t reflect who you really are, if they feel like passed-down habits rather than authentic truths, then maybe it’s time to rewrite your script. Do what brings you joy just for the sake of doing it. Not to impress, not to fit in—but simply to feel alive.
Don’t live someone else’s life. Live yours. And when you do, you’ll radiate love and joy. That energy spreads. It uplifts. It multiplies. When you're true to yourself, you give others permission to be true to themselves as well.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.comAbout The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
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Article Recap:
This article by Marie T. Russell invites readers to break free from societal expectations and live more authentically. Through personal stories and gentle insights, it reminds us that joy begins when we stop performing and start listening to our inner truth.
#authenticself #innercompass #liveyourtruth #joyfulbeing #beyourself #breaktherules #innerselfcom
